What do you get someone who says they want nothing?

Some do. In YouGov’s survey of 4,243 Britons, carried out from 19 to 24 November 2025, 15% said they would rather not receive anything at all, rising to 27% of over-65s against 6% of 18 to 34 year olds. Another 32% would rather be asked what they want, and 44% prefer a surprise.

We think that for an older relative, ‘nothing’ may well be meant, and that for most other people it means they cannot think of anything, or do not want you to spend money.

Because people like getting what they asked for. In five experiments published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Francesca Gino and Frank Flynn found recipients appreciated items from their own wish list more than unrequested ones, and saw them as more thoughtful. The givers expected the opposite. In a fifth study recipients appreciated money more than any item they had asked for.

Flynn suggests givers take a single suggestion better than a list: in a fourth study, givers were more accurate when the recipient named one gift. So ask for one thing, not ideas.

Choose for the months after the unwrapping, not the moment itself. A review of gift research by Jeff Galak, Julian Givi and Elanor Williams found givers focus on the exchange while recipients care about using the gift, and that givers underestimate how much useful, practical gifts are appreciated. Experiences, such as a dinner out, can please more than objects. The authors advise against a charity donation in the recipient’s name, especially if you are not close.

In practice, our view is a better version of something they already use every day: the pillowcase, the mug, the throw on the sofa.

About a third of people who get one give it away, sell it or throw it out. In a Which? survey of 2,047 adults in January 2025, 21% had received an unwanted or unsuitable gift at Christmas 2024. Of those, 34% got rid of it rather than return it, 33% kept it and will use it, and 15% kept it with no plan to use it. In our view, a useful, ordinary present is less likely to go unwanted.